Monday, January 21, 2013

Our Discipline System

I thought I would share our discipline system in case some of you moms out there are looking for something other than just constant reminding, time-outs, yelling, or even spanking (if that's what you do). 

I knew I had to do something after about a month of going crazy just randomly disciplining our boys. When we have some kind of system, life seems to be easier at home. 

So I came up with this in the Summer of 2012.

  • At the beginning of each day both boys begin on START. Each boy has a clothes pin with their name on it so they clearly know where they are.

  • When one of the boys do something wrong (like hitting the other) they will be given their first warning. If they continue to do the bad behavior, I will tell them "I am going to move your clothes pin down." I also use it as a threat if they are doing something when they were just told to stop. (jumping on the couch) "If you don't stop jumping on the couch, you will have your clothes pin moved down". 

  • As you can see in the picture below I drew pictures of each level moving down since they are still little and can't read. You could change yours up if you see a different consequence would work better for your kid(s). 


  • I like this system because it imitates what teachers use in elementary school. Most classrooms use color/card changes. So this is similar, but gives the child more chances to do better. 

  • Karson is almost 4 years old so he understands it a lot better than Kipton (2). He doesn't like it when his clothes pin is moved down, and has even asked if he can get it moved back up. I have said that if I see that he can be better in his actions and choice, then he can get it moved up.

  • I do use it when out in public too. I will remind the boys that I will move the clothes pin when we get home if they are not listening and obeying while out at a store, restaurant, etc. 

  • I feel like this works best because they can actually "SEE" where they are and see what can happen next if they keep making bad choices. 

As I mentioned earlier, I wrote this post back in 2012. 

If you would like to see our NEW discipline system click HERE

I feel like my new version focuses more on the positive with giving stars as you see good behavior. I do believe in showing positive rewards for positive behavior. 

I hope this is something you can take and use for you and your family. Every child is different, as well as every family. 

Remember children are a blessing from The Lord. 

Cherish them, even in their hard times.

Discipline is a part of parenting that is the hardest, but once you see the glory coming from your children and what they have learned, it will be worth the hard days.

Stay Strong!

11 comments:

MZ said...

I love this idea! I think I'm going to make one for my kids. However, just an FYI...it's a "clothes" pin, not a close pin.

Amy Senter said...

Love the simple discipline chart. I wanted to let you know that I linked to your post on my blog if you want to check it out:
http://amyroachsenter.blogspot.com/2014/01/10-child-discipline-tips.html

Ashley Robertson said...

I'm going too try this. I love this idea. :-)

Rachel WifeThenMama said...

I wish that four spaces were enough for my (foster) kids. They are in trouble at least 10 times a day...

A said...

I 100% disagree with this poster. Negative brings negative.

The poster should be all examples of positive actions, eg. Smiled, put toys away, let someone go first, waited his turn, got dressed etc, all positive.

Try a positive action approach with examples. If you are only writing negative on the poster, that gives negative actions all the attention.

aCCENTUATE the POSITIVE, positive brings positive. Please please stop Giving negativity all the attention, shift the attention to POSITIVE.

Jennifer Hall said...

Thank you for sharing this system. I am a foster mom and have implemented a sticker chart with a similar reward system to what you have in your new star chart and while I like it for motivational factors sometimes I just want my kids to do things because they are a contributing part of the family and not for only a reward. Then if bad attitudes ensure I'd like to have a system that addresses the heat issues as well. So thanks for this idea. I'm hoping for this plus a reward type system will be the answer in my home.

Christina said...

I love the visuals of your chart. I use both a reward and consequence chart with my 3.5 yr old. When my child clips up 4 times he gets a reward of his choice. If he clips down 4 times he gets a consequence of my choice. I created it after I found myself constantly getting on to him. I like rewarding his good behavior and seeing that he does good things too not just bad things.

Christina said...

I love the visuals of your chart. I use both a reward and consequence chart with my 3.5 yr old. When my child clips up 4 times he gets a reward of his choice. If he clips down 4 times he gets a consequence of my choice. I created it after I found myself constantly getting on to him. I like rewarding his good behavior and seeing that he does good things too not just bad things.

Google Google said...

Can I ask a silly question? when you said 8 stars =prize, does that mean 8 stars for one day or 8 stars for the week and once they earn it they get a prize? What's the duration to earn the stars?

Helena said...

I disagree with this idea. You can modify it and get better results if you use positive strategies. Describe the behavior you want and reinforce that behavior with a positive acknowledgement. There is much research that proves this to be true. Look for the positive behavior, acknowledge it and you will get more of it.

Mom of 3 said...
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