Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Our NEW Discipline System

You may have found my LAST discipline system on Pinterest because it's been pinned over 1,200 times. I was really in shock that it has so many pins! 

My hope is that it's training children in the way they should go, and helping moms keep their sanity :)

It's time to update you on our current discipline system, and I think your going to like this one even better than before. 

A star dry-erase chart. 

All you will need is a small dry erase board and pen. This one is from Target and was around $3.00. 

I began by writing each of my boys names on the board giving a line in between to give space. (Also, please do me a favor and try to always write kids names and words they are trying to read in your very best "elementary" school hand writing. This will help with letter and word recognition) *pet peeve*

I give my boys stars for doing good things. 

Here are some examples on how our 4 year old earns stars. 

 - Getting a good report from school that day
- Sharing with their sibling/friend

- Finishing all of his/her chores

-Saying please/thank you/mam/sir without being prompted

-Picking up shoes/coat without being told

-Saying nice things to adults and friends

(You can monitor those as you wish, and based on age)

So when a child gets to 8 stars they get a special prize.
(you can change the number, I just thought this was a good number for our boys) 

However, the best part is: you can take away stars as a form of discipline. No time outs, no spanking, no yelling, just erasing a star. That is why I keep my star chart on the fridge. It's visible for every one to see and they also see you erasing it, and I promise they WONT like it! 

You can form your own decisions about what deserves an erase. 

So when my boys get to 8 stars it's prize day. Prizes DO NOT have to knock out your bank account. We have a Dollar General close to our house, and the boys LOVE going there to pick a prize. My limit is $2.00 and this is a good math lesson as well as reward. 

Other ideas for a prize:

*Ice cream run (favorite ice cream place)
*Dollar Store
*Stock up on $1.00 Target finds and keep them high in a closet. When they get to 8 they can pick from the treasure chest.
*Stay up later than other siblings for a movie in bed with mom/dad.
*Request your favorite meal to be for dinner.
*Pick your favorite friend/family member to visit.
*Go to a special place (bowling,museum)

These rewards don't have to cost money. You can set the limits. That is why I like this system so much. You can change it up. Slow it down if you see your child is always getting 8 stars and you can't reward that fast, then change up your reward stars. Don't give them out for the smallest efforts, but rather for the things you've been working on and they finally are obeying! 

I hope this works for your child/children. It really is a great and wonderful thing in our home. Positive and negative reinforcement all in one place.

My last post on our "first" go around with a discipline system is HERE.

Please leave me some feedback. Let me know what you like, and don't like about the system. My last discipline system got WAY more positive than negative, but I was surprised how many negative e-mails I got from it. However, I do know when you start talking about discipline moms tend to get feisty. Keep your comments respectful :) 

Happy Training!


coolestfamilyontheblock.com said...

My daughter doesn't respond to charts or rewards. At. All. She just wants her way and doesn't care about the rest of it. Ah well, hopefully she'll use that stubbornness for good when she's older.

I have considered using a green, yellow, red stoplight visual for her to help her realize when she needs to reconsider the choices that she's making. Haven't done it yet, though.

Sky Buffat said...

Your little guys could not get any cuter! My boys are all about incentives- thanks for sharing this in detail!

Michelle said...

When our 5 boys were younger we used a star chart to positively reinforce good behavior and it worked really well for us!

There's always a bit of concern for me when they do things JUST because they know they get something out of it...but it really helped establish some good behavioral habits!

The Joys of Boys said...

This is just the sort of thing I have been looking for. Such a simple idea but I love that it reinforces positive behavior. Thanks so much for sharing!

Tina Peterson said...

Its great for kids - I personally struggle with follow thru. I'm thinking I like the move the clothespin chart better tho specially for preschoolers.

Christal Roberts said...

I have a 4 y/o and a 14 y/o both with their share of issues. ADHD, ODD, sensory, depression, and anxiety but who knows what else as they get better at testing and diagnosing these complex kids. I have had the hardest time finding what works with my 14 y/o over the years, right now he has a PS and Wii so I use that as my "currency" for him. The 4 y/o actually seems to care about doing what he's suppose to. With all that said I think I'm actually gonna use both, the clothespin chart daily and they can earn a star for each day they keep their happy face all day! Reward will be a quarter for each star which they'll get a chance to save them for a "big" prize or spend them at Dollar Tree after church on Sunday. Also, if they keep their happy face ALL WEEK then they'll get to eat out at Chick Fil A on Monday night since they're not open on Sundays.

Priscilla Deshommes said...

Thank you so much for sharing! I LOVE this idea! I am going to make a chest of dollar tree toys and gift wrap each one. So that when they to 10 stars they can pick a surprise out the chest. Love it! Will start working on this,this weekend. Thanks again for the idea.

Priscilla Deshommes said...

Thank you so much for sharing! I LOVE this idea! I am going to make a chest of dollar tree toys and gift wrap each one. So that when they to 10 stars they can pick a surprise out the chest. Love it! Will start working on this,this weekend. Thanks again for the idea.